Within God’s Grace

There are times in life when our faith is tested—times when the struggles we face seem too big to handle, and the pain or fear for our children feels overwhelming. I have been through these storms, and how important prayer is, especially for mothers going through hard times.

Prayer is what keeps us going when life is difficult. Sometimes, all we can do is cry or sigh, but even these are prayers that God hears. He knows every worry and fears we carry for our children. We often face things we cannot control sickness, danger, the choices our children make, or a world that seems unsafe. In these moments, prayer may not change what is happening, but it changes us. It gives us new strength to keep going and helps us to trust God, even when life feels impossible. I have learned that God does not always take the storm away, but He walks with us through it. He gives us little moments of grace when we need them most. Sometimes, God answers our prayers by preventing or giving us peace when nothing makes sense. He gives us courage to stand firm when we feel like giving up. After these storms, when we still feel shaken and our hearts are hurting, God’s love comes quietly to help us. When we are tired and our faith is weak, God is still faithful. He helps us move forward, even when we feel like we can’t.

God’s mercy is not just a word; it is real. It comforts us and reminds us that we are loved—not because we are strong, but because God holds us. His compassion is always there, inviting us to rest, to heal, and to trust Him again. Many mothers wonder if life will ever feel normal after a storm. But I have learned that God’s love is new every morning. He brings hope where there was none and turns our pain into thankfulness. Even after the hardest times, our lives can be marked by the goodness of God and the depth of His love. When we fail, or when we feel unworthy or full of regret, God’s gentle love welcomes us back again and again. We are not defined by our mistakes or by the storms we go through, but by the mercy that calls us God’s children.

It is when we admit our weaknesses that we see how beautiful God’s love truly is. For every time we fall or wander away, God remains patient, offering not condemnation but invitation: to return, to trust, to discover the strength that comes from being fully known and yet completely cherished and loved. This is not just a story of pain and fear, but also of God’s grace that carried me through my hardest life’s storms.

 

 God's grace on a sinner.

 

Romans 5:8

God showed us just how great his love was when he sent Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.

 

During the 5 years in prison, I acknowledged God, but not in complete surrender to God's word and will. But even as a sinner I saw God's provision and protection, over and over again in prison. I prayed and went to church in prison. But the day of my release in 1998. I went seeking for the things of the world, money and old friends. I continued to speak and pray to God. But not in complete surrender. In the first 3 months I became a prisoner of sin. In 2002 I received a call from my sister.

 

"Marcos! Christopher (my son 13 years old at that time) has been taken away by force at gunpoint by a man (gang member) at the park."

 

My son and his best friend were walking home from school. When this man approached them, trying to kidnap my son's friend. My son hit him in the face to protect his friend. Christopher was physically well-developed for his age, and the man fell, and they ran home. The man wanted to kill Christopher's friends’ brother. My son and his best friend had no idea just how serious the situation was. My son's daily routine was going to the neighborhood corner store regularly. The store allowed Christopher to help a regular customer, earn tips, to buy stuff for himself and his friend, and hangout at the park. That day wasn't any different. At approximately 4pm in the park, the man approached them again, this time with a gun. Again, Christopher stood his ground and 

told his best friend to run. Enraged, the gunman assaulted my son by hitting him on the head and forced him into the man’s car. The gunman wanted my son to call his best friend. My son refused and was taken to a deserted area.

 

God's grace of protection. Keep in mind how the sequence of events could have resulted in much worse outcomes.

 

At the deserted area the man assaulted my son for hours. Striking him with the gun over his head repeatedly and even then, my son would refuse to give up his friend. The man was determined to force the information out of my son. Soon the assault escalated, he began by playing Russian roulette on my son. Again, every time my son refused, the gunman would pull the trigger. While pointing the gun at my son's head. I stand firm and bold that there is no one in existence that can persuade me that it was not God's protection that took place on that day.

 

God in control. Keep in mind of the consequences of the scenarios that God was in control from beginning to the end.

 

My son was then taken to many gang members’ homes where he would be beat repeatedly for the information. After several hours the gunman had given up and began searching for someone and a place to kill my son. It was already evening.

 

Hebrews 4;16 So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.

 

Meanwhile, I was 15 miles away from town. With my head going a hundred miles an hour. Praying and crying not knowing where to go, where to search and what to do. I wanted God to know that I knew He exists. The first thing I did was call my uncle, not to pray but to be a witness. I called and told my uncle; I want God to know that I know He exists. Crying I said, I want to go with you when I die, please God. I don't want to kill this man, please. I promise! Don't let him kill my son. I promise I won't kill the man, please God. I hung up and my sorrow became my vengeance. Full of rage, I drove.

I went to my kids’ house to find out what I could do. I saw my older son. He ran up yelling "dad he’s going to kill him! I know where he lives.” It's all I needed to know. My son told me what type of car the gunman drove. I said to myself "this man has to go to his house". I knew he had a gun, I didn't. I thought "I just need to get close to him" maybe it sounds crazy, but I got a screwdriver. I didn't care; I wanted my son. I drove and parked a block away.  I waited no longer than 30 minutes, when the man arrived. I drove up to him and stopped right behind him. We looked at each other, he knew.  Before he said anything, I said “where is my son, I want my son". I was about to get out of the car but at that same exact moment he was saying something, but I couldn't make out what he said. His voice sounded so far away. I heard my thoughts saying, "he wouldn't be here if your son was dead,” I clearly heard it. This compelled me to put the car on drive and drive back to my kid’s house. I see my older son and he says,

 

Dad, Christopher is in the hospital, you won't believe it! The man wanted to kill Christopher. But he didn't want to do it himself. He took him to the gang's hit man's house to be killed. Getting there, they took him to the back yard. Christopher and the hit man stared at each other. The man pulls Christopher towards himself. He asked Christopher if he wanted to stay with him or go with the gunman. “I'll stay”, Christopher said. The hit man cursed the gunman to get out of his property.

 

Dad! the hit man is the regular customer that Christopher helps at the store! 

God is in control from our existence through our salvation to His presence for eternity.

 

Psalm 46;1

"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. "

 

I drove to the Hospital and saw my son. I said thank you God, you kept your promise. I'll keep mine. I wish that I could say that I changed that day, but I did not.

 

Sometimes it's beyond our understanding of the reason why we go through trials, storms and tribulations. But it holds a reason. Even if our life or consequences are not what we want or expected.

 

 

But I still faced tribulations when that same son passed away at only 18 years old. The first of my sons to pass. The strongholds of drug use kept me as a prisoner. I was unaware that my mother would get on her knees and pray for me. During the years, that I was in deep sin she surrendered completely to God's word and will. God blessed her with a dream. In this dream, she was sitting on a bed. I was kneeling in front of her, folding bright white clothing, and placing it on her lap. She told me that God was telling her He heard her prayer. To keep believing, to trust and to hold on to that faith. So, she kept praying. Then suddenly, every time after using drugs, I would look at myself in the mirror, crying, and saying “Please God, change me.” One day I left town. I came back after one year, once again a prisoner of drugs. Just five days after I returned to town, I was jailed for four months. That was when my heart began to change. During the four months in jail, I prayed and surrendered to God's word and will, completely.  I asked for forgiveness and proclaimed Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior of my life. I was amazed, how God directed my life. On the very first day of my release from jail my brother asked if I wanted to work. God gave me a job. A job that gave me little to no time for anything else. My daily shifts were about 13-15 hours a day, 5 or 6 days out of the week; A graveyard shift as a vendor. I heard God's word for hours and prayed. I declared, proclaimed and confessed wisdom and understanding of God's revelation. Revelation of His word, will, and of His existence. I had a hunger and thirst of building that personal relationship with God. I have seen God's divine blessings of His existence. But I’ve also seen storms, trials and tribulation. During the year out of town and the 4 months in jail, one of my youngest sons (whom was 13 at the time) became rebellious and fell into the influence of a bad crowd of friends. He was living with his caring mother (my ex-wife). Every time we had a chance, we would talk to him about God, and the enormous amount of love we had for him. I surrendered my son to God. I strived for God's word and will; believe, trust and have faith. Our God is faithful. Without my knowledge, at 14 my son began to pay visits to his grandmother (my mother). I saw him less and less. Opportunistically, my mother wasn’t wasting any possibility to plant a seed, nor leave a continuous prayer unsaid for him. For 3 years, my mother spoke to him about our Heavenly Father, until the last day of my son's life; 10/31/16. He was 18 years old.

For years, I was praying for our Heavenly Father to change and save my son. To bless me with the desires of my heart. To use my son and me to serve him. But sometimes, even if we are so faithful. If it’s not

God's will, it won't be. But He is a faithful God. I saw God's existence through His compassion. The tribulation I went through was a storm and a trial. Two weeks before the death of my son. I went through revelations of God's compassion. I had a dream of two individuals that wanted me to sin in the dream. Instead of sinning, I said, in Jesus’ name. Instantly, I woke up. But at the same moment, I felt a kiss on my right cheek. The blessing was this: Several months earlier. My ex-wife and I were talking about our first son, who passed away. She had a dream about him. In the dream, my son told her not to worry about me (his father) that he was looking after me. At that moment, she wakes up with the feeling of a kiss on her right cheek. After a dream, you can feel the good or bad of the dream. I felt compassion. About 9 days passed, 5 days before my second son's death. I had another dream. In the dream I saw this: it took place in a dark room. I saw someone hidden in the darkness of the room. This shadow was covered in sheepskin; I couldn't see the face. It said, "I'm not, who you think I am.” Instinctively, I began saying, in Jesus’ name. At that moment, I woke up. I couldn't move but my eyes were open. Something holy was touching my feet, I couldn't move for about 12 seconds. My heart suddenly felt an overwhelming feeling of mercifulness and compassion. I began crying, telling my God. "I'm not worthy, I'm so sorry my Lord" repeatedly over and over. I didn't understand the reason for this occurrence. But God knew, the pain that would come to me in the next 5 days. My son passed away on 10/31/16. On the 30th, I was on the g+ app posting and praising God. I came across a post, about sin and sinners. I commented on the post; we cannot hate the sinner only the sin. I left the app for few minutes. When I returned there was a comment that read, “have you been through a TRIAL". It totally got my attention. Bringing back the memory of the kidnapping of my older son. But I stopped myself from thinking about it. Then I posted; “we need to love and forgive, for God is Love. We hate sin, not the sinner.” The next day, on the 31st, I was watching the news. They were reporting the discovery of two dead bodies. They showed the two bodies, each one covered with a blanket. At the time, they had not confirmed the identities of the two. This news had my attention. They said that the deceased were in their late twenties. My son was 18 years old. The next day, on the 1st of November, at around 4:30 pm I was sitting in my chair posting and praising God. It was then when they came and sat across the room. Before they said anything, I knew it. They had the same expression as the one they had when they told me of the death of my first son in 2008. My mind went blank, and beyond empty. My blood went down to my feet. My heart pounding out of my chest. I barely heard them saying, “somebody killed him.” I yelled, “I don't want to know! I don't want to see no one!” It took me back to a promise I made to God. When my older son got kidnapped.

I yelled, "I don't want to know!" I was afraid to lose control. I fell down to my knees, crying like a child. I blocked everyone, I didn't leave my room for a month. I didn't see the news. Honestly, I didn't want to give the devil one small opportunity to torment my mind. I just blocked everyone out. I didn't talk or answer calls from anyone. I went back to my chair and praised, I would breakdown and cry, get up, praise God.

again, and cry. I've always told everyone, when facing a storm or distress it's always for a reason, God always has a reason. Our comprehension without God's will, will never help us understand the reason "why". Trusting and obtaining faith becomes your peace within God's peace. Faith will help you overcome the storm and trial. Then comes God's existence, the evidence of divine grace of His mercy and compassion. On the 3rd day, I answered a call from my mother. She said, mijo believe. (Unaware that my son had been visiting my mother, daily. So, with every visit he made to my mother, he heard the word of God.) My mother told me she had a dream about 5 days ago. In the dream, it was a gathering of joyful people in bright clothing and the colors of salvation. Then she said, mijo three days before your son died, he told his mother that he believed in Jesus Christ. At that moment, the story of the sinner that died next to Jesus Christ, enlightened me. God was faithful, I surrender my son unto our Heavenly Father for the salvation of my son. And God did, save His new son. This was evidence of God's existence. Evidence of His mercy and compassion. This divine moment was confirmation of His divine faithfulness.

As mothers (parents) we should never stop praying for our children, even if they become rebellious, disrespectful, or completely lost in sin. Our prayers and obedience in our faith are of great glory unto our Heavenly Father. Within God’s will, His unconditional love and divine grace will bless the desires of our heart. God's Will is for His children to obtain salvation through our Almighty Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I believe that all parents, parents that are believers, should make sure that their children know how to ask for forgiveness, and how to proclaim Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. They can learn to put it in simple words of their own. The reality is that a time will come when they will make their own decisions. We should not assume, let's make sure. We must keep in mind that drugs, bad influence and the enemy obtains no reference unto race, gender, age, or financial status. It has no pity on who you are or where you come from. We do what's possible and our Almighty God does the impossible. I pray unto God that all mothers (Parents) recognize that a prayer of a mother for her children, with faithfulness will not be unheard from God. Even If our children are in the darkness of sin. God will mold them, even if it's on the day they take their very last breath—for God is a faithful God.

 

If you find yourself burdened with questions that seem to have no answer, I urge you—seek God earnestly.

God’s forgiveness is born of a mercy deeper than any we can imagine. He knows the wounds in our hearts, our mistakes, our hidden struggles—our weaknesses and imperfections are not hidden from Him. Yet, His love is unquestionable. “1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” “Psalm 103:8-14 The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will not always chide, nor will he keep his anger forever. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear Him (reverence to God); as far as the east is from the west,

so far does he remove our transgressions from us. As a father shows compassion to his children,

so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. For he knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust (our weakness and flaws).”

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You don’t need elaborate words or grand gestures; simply speak to Him with an open heart, just as you are, with your own words. With truth, offer your worries, regrets, and hopes. It is in these simple, honest conversations that God draws near to you, shining light into our darkest corners. He hears your sincerity and embraces you fully. In His gentle presence, shame melts away, and His forgiveness becomes the shelter that restores and renews. It may not always be easy to understand His ways, but in surrender and trust, peace arrives. His presence fills the emptiest hearts; His compassion heals wounds too deep for words.

Let the sacrifice of Jesus Christ melt and enlighten your heart.  Jesus Christ's sacrifice on the cross is a profound act of love and redemption. Jesus chose to go through great pain and suffering to take the punishment for everyone’s sins—including yours and mine. Jesus took the punishment that people deserved so that everyone could be made right with God. By loving us this much and taking our place, He made it possible for us to be forgiven and to have a close relationship with God again.

When Jesus was on the cross, He took on all the wrong things people have ever done. It wasn’t just painful for His body, but it was also hard for His spirit—He even felt alone and separated from God. Jesus bearing the weight of humanities sins and experiencing the consequences of sin. Jesus went through this so that we wouldn’t have to feel that kind of separation from God ourselves. Luke 23:34 "And Jesus said, 'Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do…” Matthew 27:46 … “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” John 19:30 … ‘It is finished.’ As we reflect on the depth of Jesus’s sacrifice, we are reminded of His final words on the cross: “Jesus called out with a loud voice, ‘Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.’ When he had said this, he breathed his last.” (Luke 23:46) These words reflect Christ’s complete trust and surrender to the will of the Father, showing us the ultimate example of faith—even in the face of unimaginable suffering and loss. The importance of Jesus' death on the cross is further emphasized by His resurrection three days later. This showed that He was truly powerful and that His sacrifice was enough to defeat sin and death. Because of this, anyone who believes in Him can have hope and eternal life. Jesus’ death is a clear sign of how much God loves us and forgives us. No matter what mistakes we’ve made, we can be forgiven if we trust in Jesus. He wants us to live to forgive, to share kindness showing others the same love He gave to us.

God’s love is steadfast, and unconditional. His faithfulness endures beyond our pain. In the most desperate moments, even when all hope seems lost, He hears every prayer. God meets each of us in our 

rawest moments, when we are broken, questioning, or lost. Through every trial recounted in my life—the grief of losing children, the struggle with addiction, and the transformative power of prayer—I have come to know God as the One who listens, comforts, and redeems. In faith, God is revealed through Jesus Christ, whose sacrifice embodies perfect love and whose resurrection offers the promise of eternal life. John 3:16 is a reminder of God's sacrificial love. It reassures you that God loves you deeply and personally, enough to give His only Son for your salvation. The promise of eternal life in John 3:16 provides hope and assurance. It offers comfort in times of hardship and loss, reminding us, faith in Jesus ensures a painless future in the presence of God in heaven. This hope strengthens you to persevere through challenges, knowing the hope and assurance in God's promises.

Draw near to Him—it is the invitation extended to every soul. To have a personal relationship with Him, begin by turning your heart toward Him in humbleness and in trust. Each day, create a quiet space to pause, to lay bare your thoughts and feelings. Speak to Him, share your joys and your struggles, your gratitude and your fears. In these heartfelt moments, you are nurturing your heart with believe and faith on God—Nurture this relationship as you would a cherished friendship: spend time with Him in prayer and reflection, seek wisdom in His word, and invite Him into your everyday life. Watch for the gentle prompts of His Spirit—the quiet reassurance, the unexpected peace, the guidance you sense when you are unsure. As you open yourself to His presence, you’ll discover that God meets you right where you are, embracing you in love and leading you into deeper faith. This journey is not marked by perfection, but by a willingness to walk closely with Him, letting His love shape your heart each day.

God is the eternal Creator—the source of all life and goodness—whose wisdom surpasses our understanding and whose love touches all human experience.

Let your story be filled with hope and healing, knowing that God’s love is always there for you. When you face hard times, remember that you have a strong foundation in God’s love, and that God is with you through every challenge.

Trust that, no matter what happens, you are loved, forgiven, and renewed— held always in the gracious arms of God.

 

Invitation;

Within God’s Grace invites you to embrace a personal relationship with God—opening your heart to His love and forgiveness. Together, let us walk the path from repentance to acceptance and discover the profound joy of living in God’s presence. Your life is unique, and your story is precious. Let's continue this journey with open hearts, ready to accept and cherish each moment with God. As it is written in;

 John 3:16: "For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life."

 1 John 1:9: "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Isaiah 49:16: “Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are continually before me.”

 

Final thought:

Hebrews 4:16 (NKJV):

"Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need."

 

As Jesus spoke boldly of the will of God, He never took lightly the word of God—always direct and firm about faith and obedience, both to believers and to those who do not yet believe. In the same way God calls you to come boldly to His throne as an unbeliever seeking mercy and grace. God will not deny Himself to you.

Even if you do not believe because of life’s circumstances—facing trials such as losing loved ones, financial struggles, illness, betrayal, abuse, loneliness, or even the challenges of our culture—bring every hardship and pain within you to God’s throne. God knows why you don’t believe, the reasons deep within your heart. But if you are someone who does not know the truth but desires to know it, come to God in your own words, with a sincere and humble heart. Whether standing, sitting, or kneeling, simply ask God to reveal Himself to you. God understands the reasons behind our unbelief. He recognizes a sincere heart. God will soften and heal our hardened, broken hearts. You will be amazed, even astonished, at how God reveals Himself to you; for God cannot lie or deny Himself to a sincere heart.

Matthew 7:7 reminds us: “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” In all circumstances of life, God invites us to approach with expectation and trust, assured that our prayers are heard and our hearts are known.

I want to mention and encourage three things:

First, there is no such thing as luck—only blessings from God. Anything good that benefits our life circumstances is a blessing from God.

Second, it is not a coincidence when we receive a blessing at the very moment we are in need; it is God's perfect timing.

Third, keep your conversation with God in prayer between you and God alone. Do not share it with anyone, not even those closest to you—your spouse, best friend, or family. In doing this, you limit the discouragement that the enemy may try to bring.

God will reveal Himself to you. Then, go and tell everyone—share, praise, worship Him, love Him, and hold fast; don’t let go. No matter how many times we fall, we get up, brush ourselves off, look forward to Jesus, and keep going, every time. Hardships can test our strength and faith, but even during such pain, hope and healing can be found by drawing every time closer to God.

 

John 3:16 (NKJV)

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

 

Closing prayer:

Heavenly Father, forgive us for our sins and our flaws. We thank You for the blessings we see and those we do not see—Your provision, Your protection, Your guidance, Your unconditional love, and Your forgiveness. Lord God, reveal the truth of Your word and Your existence. Grant us wisdom, understanding, and knowledge to mirror and embrace our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. We surrender completely to the anointing of Your Holy Spirit, seeking to glorify You, our God, in complete obedience and faith. We declare and proclaim Your goodness.

 

Psalm 33;20-22 Our soul waits for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. For our heart rejoices in him, because we trust in his holy name. Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us, even as we hope in you... in Jesus name we pray, Amen, indeed.